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Newspaper Columns ~ Financial
Gazette
Friends, neighbours come in all
shapes, sizes.
COPYRIGHT 2002 Financial Times
Ltd.
(From The Financial Gazette)
Byline: Gwinyai Dziwa
MICHIGAN - Human beings are
gregarious by disposition. We
eschew loneliness and the
tendency is to seek company.
Friendships are usually created
at social gatherings such as
weddings, graduation or birthday
parties and even more sombre
occasions such as a funeral.
Of course religious settings are
at the top in bringing people
together and the workplace too.
Nonetheless friendships are
often ambiguous.
The companionships we cherish
often bring mishaps, hence the
adage: man to man is so unjust.
That explains why the Caribbean
troubadour Robert Nesta Marley
lamented in one of his tunes:
"You don't know who to trust.
Your worst enemy could be your
best friend, and your best
friend could be your worst
enemy."
He did not stop there.
He continued, "Hypocrites and
parasites will come up and take
a bite. If your night should
turn to day, a lot of people
will run away."
The truth is that we all want to
be loved. We like to be cuddled
and we admire friends who are
loyal, helpful and those who can
console us when we are down and
out. But how can we distinguish
a plastic smile from a genuine
and soothing smile?
How can we tell wolves from
sheep when their outer
appearance is the same? But
again you don't want to dismiss
nice friends on the assumption
that they may be impostors.
It may help if we define
different types of friends that
create misery in our daily
lives. We have the gossip
monger. Such types are very
loquacious and often covetous
too.
When they visit your household,
you can notice their restless
eye movements from one piece of
furniture to the other. After a
while they will provoke a
conversation. "Hey your curtains
are very neat. They even match
the carpet. Where did you buy
them?"
The trick about such types is
that they can be very religious.
Before they depart, they
normally encourage a short
prayer. And that sort of trap is
what makes you trust them.
Now you'll relate to them a
small secret. "You know, my
husband was angry with me
yesterday." Just note the
enthusiasm they develop when you
start speaking. "Why?" they will
chime in quickly.
"My husband was mad because I
overspent money we had budgeted
for and he didn't want to speak
to me yesterday."
When they leave your home they
rush to another household who
are within the circle of your
friends. Just watch how the
facts are twisted.
"You know what Mai Jacob, I was
with Lydia. She told me that her
husband is fighting her over
money ufunge zvako." Of course
Mai Jacob will hold her mouth in
surprise in response to the
news.
"Ah, I never thought Lydia and
Joe ever fight over anything. In
public, it appears they are true
lovebirds."
The rest of the matter can be
left to speculation. Then there
is the perennial borrower who is
also a bloodsucker. This type is
attracted to a friend by
material possessions, nothing
more.
These are the types that knock
at your door at half past eleven
in the evening. They can
dramatise situations and make
you act on their confidence
trick without suspicion
whatsoever.
When you open the door, you see
them heaving. "Is everything
fine?" that's your first
question. They will respond with
a solemn face that immediately
captures your soft points -
generosity and compassion!
"You see, my uncle's cousin's
son who was visiting us had a
dispute with our neighbour's
daughter's boyfriend and was
stabbed twice in the chest with
a screwdriver. We sent him to
hospital and I am broke until
the month's end. I need help
from you."
Of course you are a loving
friend, you won't ask many
questions. You just want to know
how much your friend needs in
such a time of need! An
anticipatory response will come
your way.
"Just US$300 and I will return
it on my pay day." You will only
meet them four months later in a
supermarket by chance.
Just notice the quivering and
the rigmarole that will ensue.
"I ... but thought like after,
you see the pay day I could ...
ah reach you but other things
just pressed and my aunt's
boyfriend's cousin was involved
in a car accident but I will put
together the parcel for you."
Of course you'll just talk about
other issues because you don't
want to increase the tension
gradient.
But there is also the
bloodsucker that specialises in
culinary affairs. That type of
friend usually arrives around
meal times. You will ask them to
join you for the meal, but they
initially sound indifferent to
the invitation. "You mean me?"
As if there are other people
being invited. "Yes you. We
can't eat while you are
looking."
This type normally gives a lame
excuse, "I am fine. I just had
doughnuts an hour ago." But just
notice how clean their plate is
like after the meal! And of
course history will repeat
itself.
Additional Financial Gazette Articles
by Gwinyai:
When Fashion Trends Boggle the Mind
Friends,
neighbors
come in all shapes, sizes
The
Interview You Never Heard
Health Care Deliver Can Be Revived
Human Beings are no better than animals
Is Electronic Surveillance Invasion of Privacy?
From Rural Rhodesia to Citadel of Global Capital
Emerging Leaders of a Techno-Century
Tuku Carries Zim's Cultural Torch
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